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1.

Connect with your spirituality

Find out what makes you feel close to a benevolent, unconditionally loving spiritual force that is greater than you yet part of everything.

The answer might be different for everyone. Being in nature, attending a spiritual workshop, reading a spiritual book, visiting a place of spiritual worship, meditating, praying, or performing a spiritual ritual can all make you feel closer to Spirit and therefore more supported and looked after.

Emphasize people, places, and activities that strengthen your sense of faith and walking in grace. The more you believe that supportive force is all around you—now working overtime on your behalf after loss—the more you will notice when it shows up and accept helpful invitations.

It’s very normal for humans experiencing loss and needing comfort to turn on themselves instead, feeling blame or shame.

Life can be incredibly challenging, and we all make poor choices or take actions we regret. Yet when you stay in a place of blame and shame with yourself, it can slow down your ability to move on, heal, and take advantage of the supportive people, opportunities, and resources grace sends into your life.

Forgiveness usually happens gradually, so simply practice being more kind and loving to yourself in your thoughts if you feel you have something to forgive yourself for. If you’re really struggling with blaming and shaming yourself after a loss, be sure to reach out to a supportive counselor. Grace is another word for mercy, and we all deserve that.

While grace is operating in all our lives all the time, we can more mindfully align with it by being a channel of grace for others. This can look like being of service to others in big or tiny ways.

When you’re experiencing loss, it’s typical to have fewer physical and emotional reserves, so don’t drain yourself. Yet sometimes it’s healthy to get a break from your own heartbreak by focusing on the concerns of others.

We each get a few invitations to be a force of grace for others each day, whether that’s offering someone wise advice, a compassionate ear, a good deed, or being the bigger person when you notice someone else is struggling and incapable of holding that merciful, compassionate energy.

Accepting the loss of something foundational in our lives—a loved one, a job, a home, a way of being in the world—happens in stages. The more you can surrender to this change, the more quickly and easily grace can bring in new healing experiences and relationships.

Accepting loss that’s unwanted or beyond our control is one of the hardest things life ever asks of us. Try my oracle deck Grief, Grace, and Healing for more techniques to help you do so. As you work with surrender—forcing and resisting less—you create more room for grace to bring magic and miracles into your life.

5.

Give yourself a grace period

Be generous with yourself as you negotiate a new normal in your life—and that negotiation can take weeks, months, or years. Especially give yourself plenty of space before and after big undertakings so you can manage and process your emotions.

Slowing down the pace of life in general, and pausing when and where you can to nurture yourself, can be important medicine after loss. If you notice an increase in synchronicities or other meaningful, supportive experiences happening out of the blue, remind yourself this is grace in action, trying to help bring balance and more good stuff into your life.