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November 17, 2022
mbg Spirituality & Relationships Writer
mbg Spirituality & Relationships Writer
Sarah Regan is a Spirituality & Relationships Writer, and a registered yoga instructor. She received her bachelor’s in broadcasting and mass communication from SUNY Oswego, and lives in Buffalo, New York.
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November 17, 2022
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If you’re dating in your 40s and beyond, you might have some reservations about getting on dating apps. While some options are definitely better than others (which is why we’re rounding up the best), consider dating apps as just one particularly convenient way to put yourself out there and meet someone new.
According to licensed therapist Nancy Colier, LCSW, many of the best dating apps available today make it super simple to connect with people that are your age, have similar interests, or are looking for the same thing as you.
To help get you started, here are the seven best dating apps and sites for people over 40 that have proven track records of success.
The best dating sites for over 40 of 2022:
The unique challenges of dating in your 40s.
Dating in your 40s is sure to feel a bit different from dating in your 20s or 30s, and for a few reasons. For one thing, Colier explains, you might have children who need to be prioritized, and thus, you don’t have as much time to dedicate to a new love interest. Or on the other hand, you may still want to have children, and so there can be a sense of urgency around finding a match, she explains.
And even if you don’t want children, of course the urgency to find a partner can still exist. Colier notes that singles in middle age may feel “fundamentally flawed or lacking” because they haven’t “checked the box” that so many of their peers have. “For a lot of women, there is still such strong cultural conditioning that we’re not complete until we’re in a relationship—and it’s madness,” she adds.
Plus, between family obligations and busy work schedules, it may be challenging to meet singles your age out and about, even when you’re frequenting events and social scenes near you.
But the good news is, Colier tells mbg, dating in your 40s also gives you the unique opportunity to swim in the dating pool as a mature adult with a strong sense of self. “If we’ve done some inner work, then in the 40s, we have the possibility of having a much healthier relationship. Another person brings an addition to our life if we’re healthy, as opposed to, ‘You fill me up,’ or, ‘I need you to be OK,'” she explains.
How we picked:
We’re only recommending dating sites and apps in this roundup that have been approved by therapists, dating coaches, and/or psychologists, so you can rest-assured these choices are expert-backed.
Designed for mature singles
The dating apps were all designed with serious daters in mind (OK, maybe with the exception of Tinder), from Match to eharmony. If you’re looking for a serious partnership, you’ll be happy to know the other singles on these apps likely are too.
Not only are all of these dating apps proven to help people find dates, long-term relationships, and even marriages, but other factors like positive reviews, minimal app glitches reported, and a large online community of singles were all taken into account in this list.
If downloading yet another app is keeping you from signing up for a dating site, you’ll be pleased to know these options are all very easy and straightforward to use, with simple interfaces and streamlined processes.
mbg’s picks for the best dating sites for over 40:
Best for serious relationships: eharmony
Pros:
- Designed for serious daters
- Very specific questions
- Shows a compatibility score for every potential match
Cons:
- Relatively expensive
- Time-consuming to set up
You’ve probably heard of eharmony, and for good reason. It’s one of the most popular dating sites for people looking for a serious relationship, with Colier noting she’s heard “very good things” about it. “eharmony asks more pointed questions, and people tend to be more honest—their screening is much more specific,” she tells mbg.
And as couples’ therapist Kyle Zrenchik, Ph.D., LMFT, ACS, previously explained to mbg, eharmony has a proven history of success, they regularly improve their site, and are well known for helping couples reach long-term relationships. “eharmony also claims to be responsible for 4% of marriages in the U.S,” he adds.
(Here’s our full eharmony review if you’d like to know more.)
Price: Monthly subscriptions range between $12/month and $60/month.
Best paid dating site: Match.com
Pros:
- Personalized match recommendations
- Detailed profiles
- One-on-ones with dating experts
Cons:
- Relatively expensive
- Not as many active users as some other dating apps
Another popular dating website known for its emphasis on serious relationships, we have Match.com. As counselor Rebecca Hartman, LMHC, previously told mbg, “If you’re looking for a partner who is sure they want to be in a long-term relationship, Match.com is an opportunity for them to put their money where their mouth is.”
Match has been in the game for nearly 30 years, and it’s up there with eharmony for its reputation for sparking true love—while also being a smidgen more affordable. The site boasts 39 million users, and their unique algorithm helps you find matches based on the kind of people you swipe yes or no on.
(Here’s our full Match review for more details.)
Price: Start with a weeklong free trial with limited features, then subscribe if you wish with subscriptions ranging from about $16/month to $27/month.
Best for Christians: Christian Mingle
Pros:
- Designed specifically for Christians
- Large number of users
Cons:
- Relatively expensive
- Website can be glitchy
If you’re Christian and devoted to your faith, it may be important for you to find a partner who is too. Enter: Christian Mingle, a dating site just for Christians, which boasts over 15 million users. Colier highly encourages taking advantage of dating sites that make finding what you’re looking for easy, and if it’s finding a Christian partner, this is definitely your best bet. (There are also similar dating apps for other religions, such as JDate and Salams, depending on your faith.)
According to reviews, Christian Mingle is easily the most popular site for Christian singles and known for producing successful relationships. It also gauges factors like education and interests so you can find a well-rounded match.
Price: Subscription is required for messaging on Christian Mingle, with prices ranging from around $42/month down to $20/month when you commit to half a year.
Best free option: OkCupid
Pros:
- Free version is robust
- Shows a compatibility score for every potential match
- Very inclusive in terms of gender, sexual orientation, nonmonogamous relationships, etc.
Cons:
- Not as popular as it once was
If you’re looking for the specificity of eharmony at a fraction of the cost, you may want to consider OkCupid. Not only are there literally hundreds of questions to answer on everything from what kinds of relationships you’re looking for to lifestyle preferences to politics and beliefs, but the free version still gives you a lot of capabilities within the app. Plus, all your questions help the app make compatibility scores with other users, so you can message people you’ll already have things in common with.
As sex therapist Aliyah Moore, Ph.D., previously told mbg, “OkCupid’s full, detailed profiles let you show who you are and what matters to you. Its compatibility ratings are really helpful in helping to understand a potential date before you even meet them.
Price: OkCupid is free to use, though there are upgrades that can be purchased for even more features and filters. Subscriptions cost $35 on a month-to-month basis or $17/month if you sign up for six months.
Best for women over 40: Bumble
Pros:
- Women get to make the first move
- Free version works well
Cons:
- You have to answer messages within 24 hours
- Women always have to make first move
Colier tells mbg she has a lot of women clients on Bumble, with the appeal being that women always make the first move. “They like to be the one reaching out,” she explains, and as online dating coach Perri Schneider previously told mbg, Bumble was also specifically made for women by women.
“I find that Bumble has the most active users on its platform—which is great to increase the chances of matching with someone you really like,” Schneider says, adding, “The women must initiate the conversation [when matching with men], but with same-sex matches, either can begin the chat.” Of course, depending on your preferences, you may view that as a pro or a con, but if men making the first move for the past 40 years hasn’t been working, it might be time to try a new approach.
Price: Bumble is free with the option to purchase upgrades ranging from $19.99 for one week to a lifetime membership for $229.99.
Best for single parents: SingleParentMeet
Pros:
- Designed specifically for single parents
- Relatively affordable
Cons:
- Outdated interface
- Subscription required to send messages
Dating as a single parent comes with its own set of challenges, and you may want to connect with other singles who can relate—or at least won’t be put off by the fact that you have children. As such, Moore recommends SingleParentMeet, previously telling mbg that it’s “one part dating site and one part a social discovery site…built especially with single parents in mind.”
While it may not be the prettiest interface compared to some of the other options on this list, Moore adds that most SingleParentMeet’s members are between 35 and 44 years of age, so it’s a good option for finding people within your age range.
Price: You do have to pay in order to send messages, but at only $5/month for a six-month membership, it’s very accessible.
Best for casual dating: Tinder
Pros:
- Huge amount of users
- Easy to use
- Popular even in less-dense areas
OK, we had to include this one in here—because who are we to assume that just because you’re 40 that means you want a serious relationship? If going out on casual dates or finding hookups is more of what you’re looking for right now, you may just want to try Tinder. (And FWIW, it’s not impossible to find love or even marriage on this app.)
Some patience may be required with so many users to swipe (which can be a good and bad thing), but as Schneider notes, “I find with my clients that it’s still widely used, which can be helpful if you’re not in a city and live in a more remote area,” she says.
Price: Tinder’s free version has everything you need to swipe, match, and chat. Upgrades cost between $10 and $40 a month, or less if you lock yourself into a longer contract.
How to successfully navigate dating apps in your 40s:
1.
Keep up with your own interests.
Whether online or out and about, Colier emphasizes the importance of putting yourself out there and, more importantly, keeping up with the things that actually interest you. Whether it’s joining a hiking club, staying active within a spiritual community, or attending yoga classes, you’ll be more likely to meet people with similar interests. (And this applies to listing your interests on the apps!)
“A relationship has a far better chance of moving forward if it’s about something real,” Colier tells mbg.
Along a similar vein, Colier also notes that when navigating dating, and particularly in your 40s, you want to bring your attention back home to yourself. “We’re so externally driven and motivated and think that’ll solve all the emptiness, but we get into our 40s, and we want to start asking different questions, like, ‘What is important to me?'” she explains.
She adds that the idea here is to take your singleness as an opportunity “not to chase harder but to actually get interested in ourselves and the relationship we have with ourselves.”
And lastly, Colier also tells mbg that folks in their 40s may be less willing to tolerate or work with things they don’t like. “We can be less curious, flexible, and open, and as a result, sometimes less open to compromise, working with challenges—we can become rigid,” she explains.
But the truth is, any healthy partnership will involve a bit of give-and-take, and staying open to people’s uniqueness is what real love is all about.
Be sure to check out our guide to online dating for more tips.
FAQ
What dating site has the highest success rate?
eharmony is often considered the dating site with the highest success rate, claiming to be responsible for 4% of marriages in the United States and boasting over 15 million users.
Is 40 too old for Tinder or Hinge?
Short answer: Of course not! Long answer: These sites weren’t necessarily designed for mature singles, but that’s not to say mature singles aren’t using them. Plus, you can always manage your age preferences so you only see people within the age range you’re looking for.
What is the age range on eharmony?
You must be at least 18 to sign up for eharmony, with the average user being about 34 years old and plenty more users 55+.
The takeaway.
The bottom line is, if you’re hitting roadblocks trying to date in your 40s, it might just be time to give one of these apps a try. Remain patient, don’t be afraid to get specific about what you want, and keep an open mind. You really never know what—or in this case, who—you may find.